Fast Track to the Presidency

Last week, we talked about the IRS Criminal Investigation unit's Fiscal 2013 annual report. We told you about four of the 2,812 offenders who drew prison sentences for their efforts: the drag racer who applied for $83 million in fraudulent gas tax refunds, the surgeon who "operated" on his tax bill using foreign trusts and shell companies, the Japanese restaurant owner who hid receipts in boxes marked "seasoned octopus," and the prisoner who filed false tax returns for his fellow inmates and sent the refund checks to his mother. But the IRS report detailed over 100 such stories — so, at the risk of beating a dead horse, we couldn't resist sharing just a few more:

• They say everything is bigger in Texas. Apparently that includes public corruption, which is an IRS priority. Abel Limas was a former police officer and state judge in Brownsville who discovered he could supplement his government salary by turning his office into "a criminal enterprise to enrich himself and others through extortion." In 2008, Limas issued a series of pretrial rulings in a case involving a helicopter crash. Later that year, he joined a law firm working on behalf of victims in that same crash. It turns out the law firm had promised him a cool hundred grand, plus a share of their fees, in exchange for those rulings. Now Limas is spending six years in a federal prison camp.
  
• Whitney Houston once sang that she believed "the children" are our future. But some people believe the children are just another meal ticket. Take Nehemiah Muzamhindo, for example. Customs officials were searching the Zimbabwe native's house for evidence of passport fraud when they discovered he had scammed one of the world's largest children's charities out of $800,000. You think he remembered to pay tax on that money? Special Agent in Charge Erick Martinez, who picked up the case for the IRS, said that Muzamhindo's crime was worse than the usual fraud because "he diverted money intended for children for his own greedy purposes." Now he'll spend six years in federal prison. Even worse, according to Muzamhindo's lawyer, the case has brought him "a great deal of shame"!
• You've heard that the family that plays together, stays together. But some families take that advice a little too far. Angela Myers operated Angie's Tax Service in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. She used her daughter's preparer identification number to file false returns using names and social security numbers stolen from a nearby nursing home. Apparently, she needed the money to pay for a sweet RV. Now she's spending 11 years, not traveling in the RV, but in a prison in Alabama where she won't even need a driver's license. But wait (as they say in the TV infomercials) . . . there's more! The IRS is also investigating Angie's son for threatening a witness in the case!
• Lots of Americans grow up wanting to be President. The usual path is to spend years working your way up the political ladder, then run for the office. But who has time for all that? Alabama's Tim Turner declared that our current government is an illegitimate sham, then proclaimed himself President of the Republic for the united States of America (RuSA). Next, he started teaching fellow citizens how to pay their taxes with fake bonds. (Apparently, special paper stock, financial terminology, and elaborate borders help make them at least look legit.) Oh, and when one of his followers asked what really happened when that spaceship crashed near Roswell back in 1947, he let the cat out of the bag that every industrialized nation on earth has a treaty with the aliens! Now he'll have 18 years to negotiate his own agreement with the little green men.

We realize people are willing to go a long way to pay less tax. But you don't have to set up your own government! There are hundreds of legitimate ways to work within the system we've already got. You just need a plan. So call us for your plan, before the aliens come and take over for good!

Seasoned Octopus

Most of the Internal Revenue Service's 90,000 employees are financial bureaucrats, working to collect the taxes that finance our government. But the Criminal Investigations unit, or IRS-CI, is an elite division of 3,700 financial crime fighters dedicated to protecting those taxes. Last month, they released their Fiscal 2013 annual report. And business sure is booming! In 2013, IRS special agents initiated 5,314 investigations (up 3.7% from 5,125 in 2012) and recommended 4,364 prosecutions (up 17.9% from 3,710 in 2012). There were 3,865 indictments and 3,311 convictions (the IRS doesn't take someone to criminal court unless they're pretty sure they can win). And 2,812 miscreants won themselves the proverbial "three hots and a cot" for terms averaging 25 months.

Most of IRS-CI's targets are plain old crooks. But some of them are just so awkwardly entertaining, we had to share their stories:

• Every time you pump a gallon of gas, you pay 18.3 cents in tax to build and repair federal roads. But there's a little-known exemption that lets off-road users like drag racers apply for a refund. Evan Knoll, the "King of Drag Racing" and owner of Torco Racing Fuels in Grand Rapids, Michigan, saw that exemption and smelled opportunity. (Maybe it was something in the fumes?) Knoll claimed $83 million in refunds over nine years from 1999-2008 before pleading guilty to nine counts of fraud and drawing a 14-year sentence. Now that's some high-octane cheating!
  
• Edward Picardi was a surgeon in South Dakota, who spent way too much time performing liposuction on his tax bill. First, he ran his income through a series of entities organized in Ireland, Hungary, Cyprus, the Isle of Man, Jersey, and Guernsey. (Really? Hungary? Were the Cayman Islands just too obvious?) Then he deposited it into various foreign accounts he controlled through a New Zealand trust, in the name of one last corporation established on the delightfully sunny island of Nevis. After several weeks in trial, the judge in Picardi's trial surgically removed five years of freedom from the good doctor's future. Without anesthesia. Ouch.
• Michael Chen owned the Fune Ya Japanese Restaurant in Richmond, California, just north of Berkeley. (Apparently the fried banana dessert was a hit.) Chen kept detailed records of his daily sales in 26 boxes marked "Seasoned Octopus." But he never reported his cash sales to the IRS. Oops. He also paid his employees $548,919 in cash without sending the IRS any payroll tax on their income. Another mistake. Now the long tentacle of the law has got him for 33 months, enjoying his meals in a place where they don't serve octopus at all.
• You might think that if you're already stuck in jail, you can't commit tax fraud. Well, you would be wrong. Michael Joseph III was feeling "underemployed" at the Apalachee Correctional Institution in the Florida panhandle when he hit upon one of those brilliant ideas we all wish we had thought of. Why not while away those idle hours filing false tax returns using other inmates' names and social security numbers? Yeah! And while we're at it, why not have the IRS mail the refunds to momma's house? Unfortunately for our enterprising would-be accountant, prison officials discovered the scheme during a routine mail search. Joseph pled guilty to 41 various offenses and drew another 63 months behind bars. At least now he's doing time in a classy federal joint instead of some loser state can.

We all know taxes have gone up this past year, and we all know nobody enjoys paying. That's the bad news. The good news is you don't have to risk a visit from the tax cops to pay less. You just need a plan. There's no shortage of court-tested, IRS-approved strategies for paying less. So if you're still worried about April 15, and you haven't asked us about our planning service, what are you waiting for?

Finders, Keepers?

Modern-day salvagers can spend years to find centuries-old treasures. Mel Fisher spent 16 years searching for the Spanish galleon Nuestra Señora de Atocha, which sank in a hurricane off Key West in 1622. But sometimes finding buried treasure is far easier. Just ask the still-unidentified California couple, known only as "John" and "Mary," who took their dog for a walk and spotted the edge of an old can on the side of a trail they had walked almost every day for years.

That can was so heavy, they thought it held lead paint. But as they carried it back to the house, struggling with the weight, it burst open to reveal the glint of gold. (Sounds like a real "Beverly Hillbillies" moment, doesn't it!) That rusted-out can turned out to be just the first of eight containing 1,427 mostly mint-condition gold coins, mostly from the nearby San Francisco Mint, made from 1847 to 1894. Their face value comes to $27,980, which isn't bad. But their market value may top $10 million. In fact, one coin alone — an 1866 Liberty $20 piece without the usual "In God We Trust" inscription — may be worth a cool million all by itself!

At one point, it looked like John and Mary might have to give up their find. Back in 1900, a Mint employee named Walter Dimmick stole $30,000 worth of gold. Dimmick did his time for the crime, but the gold was never recovered. If it had been Dimmick's haul that our lucky couple found, they would have had to return it, even after all this time. Fortunately, the Mint says they don't think that's the case, and they won't be investigating. Mint spokesman Adam Stump told the San Francisco Chronicle, "we’ve done quite a bit of research, and we’ve got a crack team of lawyers, and trust me, if this was U.S. government property we’d be going after it.”

Unfortunately, there is one government agency that will be going after it, and you won't be surprised to hear it's our friends at the IRS. The tax code says "gross income means all income from whatever source derived," and that includes "treasure trove" proceeds like the coins. The IRS clarifies that "if you find and keep property that does not belong to you that has been lost or abandoned (treasure-trove), it is taxable to you at its fair market value in the first year it is your undisputed possession." And that, in turn, means John and Mary will have to report the value of the coins on their taxes. They don't even get to use the lower capital gains rates. So let's see . . . 39.6% for Uncle Sam, plus 13.3% for California, leaves . . . well, barely half of that $10 million! The worst part is, they owe the tax now even if they keep the coins instead of selling them.

What if John and Mary donated the coins to charity? Would that let them off the hook? Nope! The problem is, you can only deduct charitable gifts up to 50% of your income. That means our lucky couple could deduct just half the value of their fortune, and still pay tax on the rest — even if they give it all away. (The limit is even lower for gifts to private foundations — just 30%.)

Here at our firm, we search for hidden treasures, too. But instead of doing it on the high seas, or in California mountains, we do it in the tax code. Our quest is to unearth the deductions, credits, loopholes, and strategies that can save you thousands. And you don't even have to take your dog for a walk to do it. You just have to pick up the phone and call us. So what are you waiting for?

I'd Like to Thank the Academy . . . .

Sunday night, millions of movie fans across the globe tuned in as the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences presented the 86th Academy Awards. Viewers were amazed that Adruitha Lee and Robin Mathews spun a $250 budget into a Best Makeup award for Dallas Buyers Club. They held their breath and wondered how much Kim Novak had to drink before she stumbled her way through the animation awards. And they thrilled as first-timer Lupitsa Nyong'o won Best Supporting Actress for 12 Years a Slave. But there's one award we didn't see — and it's a key to getting any movie made. We're talking, of course, about the coveted award for Best Original Tax Planning.

When we think of movies, we immediately think of Hollywood. But most movies aren't actually made in Hollywood, or even California, anymore. 37 states offer special tax incentives to lure film development and jobs. This year, all nine Best Picture nominees benefited from various tax incentives in their filming locations. So let's take a look at some of the nominees:

• Here's a surprise. Nebraska, the deadpan tale of a curmudgeonly father making his way to Nebraska to claim a million-dollar sweepstakes (and settling a score or two along the way), was actually filmed in Nebraska! Sadly, while the $13 million production was eligible for funds from participating local economic development offices, the Cornhusker State itself didn't offer a single bushel of incentives.
  
• The Wolf of Wall Street may have gotten shut out on Sunday. But director Martin Scorsese's chronicle of debauchery takes the statuette for the biggest tax credit. New York offers a 30% tax credit on total expenditures, which means the Empire State picked up $30 million of the production's $100 million budget.
• Dallas Buyers Club and 12 Years a Slave were both filmed in Louisiana. The Bayou State offers the most generous credits of any state — 30% of expenditures plus 5% of payroll. Too bad the combined budget for both films totaled just $25.5 million!
• Philomena and Gravity were the only two Best Picture nominees filmed outside the United States — specifically, in England and in near-earth orbit. Filming in orbit lets producers escape taxes (and gravity) completely. As for England, Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs chips in a 25% credit on the first $38 million in costs and 20% on anything above that. (Okay, Gravity wasn't really filmed in orbit — it was filmed in England, too.)

The irony here, according to Manhattan Institute for Policy Research, is that "movie production incentives routinely fail to deliver on the economic promises made by their proponents . . . [D]ata from several states find movie production incentives generate less than 30 cents for every lost dollar in tax revenue."

Fortunately for you, though, you don't have to rent a tuxedo, borrow a gown, or prepare an acceptance speech to pay less tax. You just need a plan. We give you the strategies and concepts you need to impress the judges at the IRS. And we do it without voiceovers, CGI, or other special effects. So hit "reply" to this email and let us know you're ready to get started. And remember, we're here for your whole cast and crew!

Now We Know Why She's Dancing

The Swedish pop band ABBA rocketed to global superstardom in the 1970s, with hits like Waterloo, Fernando, and, of course, Dancing Queen. Named for members Agnetha Fältskog, Björn Ulvaeus, Benny Anderson, and Anni-frid Lyngstad, ABBA is the one of the best-selling music groups of all time. They haven't performed together since 1982. But that didn't stop Ulvaeus and Anderson from turning their songs into a hit musical, Mamma Mia!, in 1999. Just one year later, they turned down an offer to reunite for 100 concerts and a billion dollars.

Lots of us are still embarrassed by the fashion choices we made in the 1970s. ABBA, whose members gained attention for glittering hotpants, sequined jumpsuits, and platform heels, is no exception. According to ABBA: The Official Photo Book, coming next month to celebrate 40 years since they won the 1974 Eurovision Song Contest, singer and guitarist Björn Ulvaeus confesses "in my honest opinion we looked like nuts in those years. Nobody could have been as badly dressed on stage as we were."

But now, we've learned there was more than just bad taste at work. It turns out the band was working to avoid the Swedish National Tax Board! As The Guardian reported last week, "the band's style was influenced in part by laws that allowed the cost of outfits to be deducted against tax — so long as the costumes were so outrageous they could not possibly be worn on the street."

Sweden's tax man has always taken a bigger bite of his citizens' earnings than Uncle Sam. The Swedes' top tax rate rose to 85% in 1980, at a time when Ronald Reagan was campaigning to take ours from 70% down to 50%. For 2014, their top marginal tax rate reaches 57% on income over about $88,180, versus a 39.6% top rate here. The Swedes also take 31.42% for payroll tax, versus 15.3% here. Apparently, taxes grow well in the cold Swedish climate.

So it might surprise you to learn that our tax code offers a version of the same deduction. Specifically, IRS Publication 17 says you can deduct the cost and upkeep of work clothes so long as you have to wear them as a condition of your employment and they're "not suitable for ordinary street wear." It's not enough that you wear distinctive clothing — it has to be required by your employer (or essential for your business if you're self-employed). And it's not enough that you simply don't wear your work clothes away from work — it "must not be suitable for taking the place of your regular clothing." (We think Lady Gaga's famous meat dress will qualify just fine.)

Ulvaeus himself is no stranger to tax controversy. In 2007, the Tax Board accused him of laundering royalty income through foreign accounts to avoid 90 million kroner ($12.8 million) in taxes from 1997-2005. Ulvaeus paid the tax as a precautionary measure, then appealed to his county administrative court, which eventually ruled in his favor.

We understand you want to pay less tax yourself. But we doubt you're willing to rock a spandex sequined jumpsuit to do it — at least, not in public. (What you wear at home is your own business!) Fortunately, there are hundreds of easier ways to pay less. You just need to start with a plan. That's where we take the stage. Just hit "reply" to this email and let us know you're ready to get started!

And the Gold Goes To . . . !

If you're like most of us, you've spent at least some time over the past couple of weeks watching the games of the 22nd Winter Olympiad. Who cares if the host city Sochi, a Black Sea beach resort, is warmer than Miami, Florida? 2,800 athletes from 88 countries have traveled to compete in 98 events, and the world is a better place for the fellowship.

Olympic games are famous for sports we don't usually see anywhere else. In the summer games, we get rhythmic gymnastics (dancing with a ribbon), dressage (dancing with a horse), and trampoline (dancing on a trampoline). In the winter games, it's ice dancing (to give you your dancing fix), biathlon mixed relay (dancing on cross-country skis with guns), and curling. (You don't have to appreciate dancing to enjoy curling, but it does help to be Canadian.)

So, in that same vein, what if nations competed for taxes we don't usually see? These would be our picks for medalists in the coveted "weird tax rule" event:

• Bronze: Tethered Hot Air Balloons in Kansas. Kansas levies a sales tax on "any place providing amusement, entertainment, or recreation services." That sounds straightforward enough. But the federal Anti-Head Tax Act prohibits state and local governments from taxing airlines or airport users. How does Kansas apply that law to hot-air balloon rides? Well, if the balloon stays tethered to the ground and doesn't actually go anywhere, it's a taxable amusement. But if it actually flies somewhere, you're off the hook for the tax!
  
• Silver: Cereal Toys in Canada. Cereal companies know that kids really just want the cheap throwaway toy at the bottom of the box. (Cracker jack knew that a century ago!) But in Canada, cereal makers have even more reason to add toys to their sugary goodness. That's because they can avoid the usual tax on cereal by throwing a toy in the box — so long as the toy doesn't qualify as "beer, liquor, or wine." (Now that might be a way to sell cereal to grownups!)
• Gold: Cow Flatulence in Europe. When you think of global pollution, you probably blame coal-fired electric plants or smoggy freeways. But the United Nations Food and Agriculture organization estimates that methane from slow-digesting cows accounts for up to 18% of Europe's production of greenhouse gases. (We understand not everyone is a fan of the United nations, but just trust them on this one — and don't ask for details.) Several European Union nations have enacted taxes on their cows to help keep those gases in check. They range from $18 per cow in Ireland all the way up to $110 per cow in Denmark!

The world is full of unique and sometimes silly taxes. But there's nothing silly about paying more tax than you have to. And that is one competition where you do not want to settle for the bronze! Fortunately, you don't have to train for years to bring home a medal. You just need a plan. So call us now for some world-class savings. And remember, we're here for your fellow teammates, too!

There's an App for That

Managing the Internal Revenue Service is no easy job. It takes a lot of automation to process over two hundred million tax returns per year. And, while the Service still stores master tax records on computers commissioned during the Johnson administration (Lyndon, at least, not Andrew!), the IRS still spends hundreds of millions per year to take advantage of the latest information technology.

The geeks who manage the IRS's computers do a great job with the limited resources Congress gives them. But they want to be like the cool kids in Silicon Valley, too. So they've created an app, called IRS2GO, that you can download to your iPhone or Android device. You can use the IRS app to track your refund, find free tax return preparers, access your tax records, and even connect with the IRS on Twitter, YouTube, Tumblr, and Facebook.

Those are all great functions, of course. But we got to thinking . . . what sort of things would you really want an IRS app to do for you? We thought maybe these would be even more popular:

• The Refund Redirector: Knowing when your refund will show up is great. But the real fun is knowing where you're going to spend it. The Refund Redirector would aggregate prices from hundreds of online shopping sites to give you the best possible deal, then send your refund directly to the store. Planning to upgrade your family room to the latest 50-inch television? Let the Refund Redirector tell you where to buy it!
  
• Flappy Tax: Flappy Bird is the latest handheld gaming sensation, with 50 million downloads. The only problem is, it's too hard to get that stupid bird through that stupid opening between those stupid pipes! Our version would let you thread a helpless taxpayer through a maze of tiny loopholes. But if you think that flappy bird has it tough, wait 'till you see our red tape!
• Red Light/Green Light: This updated version of the classic children's party game would use an easy-to-understand traffic light to tell you if your deductions will fly with the IRS. Want to write off the mileage to and from the orthodontist for tightening your kid's braces? Green light! Thinking about writing off a bottle of Dom Perignon to celebrate your latest business deal? Yellow light for the "lavish and extraordinary" expense. Hoping the IRS "won't notice" that Swiss bank account you opened last year? Stop!
• YelpTax: Apps like TripAdvisor, Urbanspoon, and Yelp let you post restaurant reviews before you even get the bill. Our version would let you review auditors and other IRS staff. How much more pleasant do you think an audit would be if the examiner knew you could rate him from one to five stars on punctuality, friendliness, service, and atmosphere? (If only they could say "we know you have a choice in auditors today . . . .")

We love how technology automates so many tasks to make our days easier and more productive. We love how the Internet puts a wealth of knowledge at our fingertips. But there's still no substitute for good, old-fashioned expertise and experience. And you can't get that from an app. That's where we come in. We can give you the plan you need to pay less tax. We can help you implement that plan without having to tap it all out on a tiny screen. So call us when you're ready for the most up-to-date tax-saving strategies and concepts. And remember, winning the tax game is more fun than anything you can do on your phone!